Sessions draw on relational and restorative approaches recommended in the Education Endowment Foundation's Improving Behaviour in Schools guidance, which finds that strong pupil-staff relationships and consistent, personalised responses do more to shift defiant behaviour than blanket sanctions. This is consistent with the DfE's Behaviour in Schools advice, which asks schools to build a culture of high expectations through relationships and clear routines rather than rules imposed without explanation, and supports the standard expected under Ofsted's behaviour and attitudes judgement.
Objective: Pupil can describe a personal view of school rules and identify which feel fairest and least fair.
Check-in: Simple rapport-building chat, interests, how the week has gone.
Input: Explore the idea that rules exist to keep people safe and learning fair, not to control for its own sake. Ask questions rather than lecture.
Activity: Pupil sorts a set of school rule cards into 'makes sense to me' and 'feels unfair' piles, and explains the thinking behind two or three of each.
Reflect: Which rule causes the most friction for you personally? Agree to notice one moment this week when following a rule was hard.
Watch for: If the pupil is very guarded, keep this session light, the goal is rapport, not a full audit of the pupil's view of authority.
Parent/carer take-home: Pick one household rule together and ask what makes it feel fair or unfair. Listening without arguing back matters more than reaching the 'right' answer.
Objective: Pupil can link a choice to its likely consequence, for both positive and negative examples.
Check-in: Review the noticed 'hard rule' moment from last week.
Input: Introduce choice-and-consequence as a neutral, factual chain rather than a moral judgement, if I do X, Y tends to happen.
Activity: Play a short choices game using real school scenarios (e.g. refusing to move seats, walking away from a task) and map two to three possible outcomes for each choice.
Reflect: Was there a moment this week where a different choice might have led somewhere better? No blame, just noticing.
Watch for: Keep the tone curious, not punitive, pupils who feel judged will disengage from this exercise fast.
Parent/carer take-home: Notice one choice-and-consequence moment together this week ('if we leave now, we won't be late') and keep it factual, not a lecture.
Objective: Pupil can follow a first-time instruction using an agreed strategy during the session.
Check-in: Review how noticing a choice-and-consequence moment went this week.
Input: Teach 'first, then' language and the idea of a brief pause for processing an instruction rather than an instant no.
Activity: Practise a sequence of low-stakes instructions in the room (e.g. tidy this, hand me that) using the first/then structure, building up gradually.
Reflect: What makes an instruction easier or harder to follow? Agree one classroom instruction to focus on this week.
Watch for: Some defiance is processing delay, not refusal, watch whether extra thinking time changes the response.
Parent/carer take-home: Try 'first, then' language for one instruction this week ('first shoes on, then we can go') and give a short pause before expecting a response.
Objective: Pupil can practise disagreeing assertively rather than defiantly.
Check-in: Review the focus instruction from last week.
Input: Contrast a defiant response ('no, and I won't explain why') with an assertive response ('I don't want to do that because... can we agree on...').
Activity: Role-play two or three scenarios where the pupil disagrees with an instruction, practising a respectful script each time.
Reflect: Which was easier, the old response or the new one? Agree to try the new script once this week.
Watch for: This is a genuinely hard skill under real stress, praise any attempt, even an imperfect one.
Parent/carer take-home: If the pupil disagrees with something at home, prompt: 'can you tell me that a different way?' and praise any attempt at a calmer version, even an imperfect one.
Objective: Pupil has a co-created behaviour agreement and knows how it will be reviewed.
Check-in: Review progress against Week 1's friction baseline.
Input: Summarise the course, from understanding rules to practising respectful disagreement.
Activity: Co-create a short, positively framed agreement (three to four expectations, plus what support the pupil gets in return) and share it with the class teacher.
Reflect: What's the one part of this agreement you feel most able to keep?
Watch for: Agreements work best when the pupil has genuine input, not just staff-authored rules relabelled, protect the pupil's voice in the wording.
Parent/carer take-home: Read the agreement together and ask what support the pupil would like from you at home to help keep it.