Grief in children and young people rarely looks like the sadness adults expect, it can show up as anger, distraction, silence, or seemingly unaffected behaviour, and this course is built around that reality rather than a single 'stages of grief' model. It responds to Childhood Bereavement Network data showing an estimated 1 in 29 UK children will experience the death of a parent or sibling, and Cambridge University research finding most schools lack a planned bereavement response. This course is not a substitute for specialist bereavement counselling where a pupil needs it, the final session includes signposting to appropriate services.
Objective: Pupil can describe at least two different ways grief can feel, beyond sadness alone.
Check-in: Gentle, unhurried opening: 'However you're feeling today is completely okay to bring here.'
Input: Explain that grief doesn't follow a fixed order or timeline, and that anger, numbness, guilt, relief, or even moments of ordinary happiness can all be part of it, none of these mean the person is grieving 'wrong'.
Activity: Pupil looks through a set of feeling word cards and picks any that have felt true for the pupil recently, at whatever pace feels comfortable, with no requirement to explain each one.
Reflect: Was there a feeling on the cards that surprised you? Agree there's no 'right' way to feel this week.
Watch for: Some pupils will want to talk in detail; others will want minimal words. Follow the pupil's lead entirely in this first session rather than pushing for depth.
Parent/carer take-home: Follow the pupil's lead on how much the pupil wants to talk about the loss this week, availability without pressure matters more than prompting conversation.
Objective: Pupil can express one grief-related feeling using words, drawing, or another chosen format.
Check-in: Check in gently on how the week has felt, without assuming progress or worsening.
Input: Introduce a few simple tools for expressing feelings that are hard to put into words directly, drawing, a feelings thermometer, or writing a short note that doesn't need to be shared.
Activity: Pupil chooses one format and expresses a feeling connected to the loss, sharing as much or as little detail as the pupil chooses to.
Reflect: How did it feel to get that feeling out of your head, even a little? Agree to try the same tool again if it felt helpful.
Watch for: Watch for signs that go beyond typical grief and may need additional support: persistent hopelessness, talk of not wanting to be here, or a total inability to function day to day, these should be flagged through your usual safeguarding route immediately.
Parent/carer take-home: If the pupil shares a drawing or note, respond with simple acknowledgement ('thank you for showing me') rather than trying to interpret or fix the feeling behind it.
Objective: Pupil can name at least one coping strategy for particularly difficult days, including anniversaries.
Check-in: Review how expressing feelings went last week.
Input: Explain that certain days, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, often bring grief back more strongly, even after things have felt more settled, and that having a plan for those days can help.
Activity: Pupil builds a simple 'hard day toolkit', people to be near, activities that help, and permission to ask for a quieter day at school if needed around a known difficult date.
Reflect: Is there a date coming up that might be hard? Agree what support might help around it.
Watch for: Hard days can also appear unexpectedly, triggered by something small (a smell, a song, a date on the calendar), reassure the pupil this is normal, not a sign the pupil isn't coping.
Parent/carer take-home: If you're aware of an upcoming anniversary or difficult date, a small acknowledgement ('I know this week might be hard') can mean a lot, without needing to make it a big conversation.
Objective: Pupil has created one memory activity that feels meaningful to the pupil.
Check-in: Check how the hard day toolkit conversation felt, if a date has passed or is approaching.
Input: Introduce the idea that staying connected to memories, rather than avoiding them, is often part of healthy grieving, and that there's no single right way to remember someone.
Activity: Pupil creates a memory activity of the pupil's choosing: a memory box list, a letter to the person who died, or a page of favourite memories, sharing only what the pupil wants to.
Reflect: What was it like to spend time with this memory today? Agree to add to it whenever feels right, with no deadline.
Watch for: Some pupils find memory work comforting; others find it too painful right now, if the activity feels overwhelming, pause and return to simpler coping strategies from Week 3 instead.
Parent/carer take-home: If the pupil wants to share the memory activity, receive it warmly. If the pupil would rather keep it private, that's equally okay, the value is in making it, not in sharing it.
Objective: Pupil has a personalised support plan and knows what further help is available if needed.
Check-in: Review the five weeks together gently, what's felt most useful?
Input: Summarise what's been covered: understanding grief, expressing feelings, coping with hard days, and keeping memories. Explain that grief support often needs more than five weeks, and that's normal.
Activity: Co-create a one-page plan: a coping strategy that works, upcoming hard dates to be aware of, and information on further bereavement support (school counsellor, Winston's Wish, or other local services) if the pupil or family wants it.
Reflect: What's one thing that's felt helpful about this course? What would help most going forward?
Watch for: Agree a review point, and make clear that returning to talk again, even after the course ends, is always welcome, not a sign of failure to 'move on'.
Parent/carer take-home: Keep a copy of the support services information somewhere accessible, and know that grief doesn't follow a five-week timeline, ongoing patience and small check-ins matter more than any single conversation.